Reincarnating junk as art..

A Day at the Avalon and Kiku

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on June 10th, 2005 @ 23:07:41 , using 470 words, 1044 views
Posted in My Diary


Woke with lots of anticipation at the exciting day that lay ahead, into the kitchen for my standard breakfast - 2 weetbix, milk and sugar, topped off with a coffee and toast and peanut butter (it's my all part of my detox diet).

Then into the hot shower to rub myself all over, man that feels soo good:) What to wear? Black pin stripped suit was my choice a lick back of the hair some putty in the craters, polyfilla in between the gap in the teeth, complimeted by my favourite $2.00 hairgel.

Into the Cryptmobile and off to Pete's my NEIS movie making buddy for a final edit of my soon to be released hit show titled 'Arty Farty After Dark', starring me off course:)

From there it was of to Kiku Gallery to peruse exhibition space for the up and comming South Australian Living Arts Festival which I am an integral part of. I will be able to exhibit up to 20 pieces of my exceptional and outstanding artworks, lucky for all you art addicts:)

Next stop called in at Annie's ranch, she was not having her best day, laying on her black cowhide couch, wishing that I had never arrived. I gave Annie an inspection from the inside, mmm, she needed a good service and tune up, lucky for her I was in the mood. Off to kitchen went Annie to keep my carb intake up. A bowl of her homemade Italian spaghetti bolognaise and I was slamming down the Myltana as fast as the toilet seat not sure which end to put down first, but knew that it would be cleansing and a very important part of my detox diet.

After all this fun we decided to get back to work, discussing our up and coming comedy TV sitcom titled 'Anna and Alky' a humourous look at the day to day lives of Anna the anorexic and Alky the alcoholic. A half hour sitcom each week dealing with the more serious side of both addictions. Showing how Anna and Alky cannot go out in public to either eat or drink due their life controlling illnesses's and staying at home is also a high risk. Anna and Alky take a humourous view of their illnesses's in an attempt to try to overcome their addictions knowing full well that either condition can be fatal. A kind of therapeutic look at life in this freaky bubble.

Home to the crypt for a lengthy admiring look at my beaming reflection bounced across all three full length mirror's on the floor, ceiling and wall of my budiour....... then into bed to spend time with my very favourite toy, the Steve O doll, a quick passionate wet kiss goodnight and so ends another perfect art filled day.

New Tattoo

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on June 10th, 2005 @ 22:10:06 , using 135 words, 901 views
Posted in My Diary


Well today I decided to get myself a new tattoo, I know, I can hear your screams 'why?'. Afterall, my body is the perfect example of health meets beauty and buff - giving me the skin that I am living in:)
However, this tattoo is to cover the sins of Twinee's bad behaviour when on a big bender. Off to my tattooist went I to select something befitting a body such as mine, that would cover the mess that Twinee had left.

Choices? I had plenty, decisions? Finally after much deliberation I went with a large celtic cross which covered most of my neck and a good part of my lower back. A couple of hours and no pain later (cos if I was any tougher I would rust), here it is ...........

What do you think?

Steve & Annie Collaboration

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on June 7th, 2005 @ 22:54:47 , using 313 words, 1410 views
Posted in My Diary


I awoke at the standard 5am gave Annie a ring as it was her flex day from her job at Defence after having a sicky Monday and not turning up Saturday and Sunday, with rec leave the previous week, and Canberra the week before that.

I asked her if she wanted to spend the day with me at the studio and create some art works she jumped at the chance said see you at the studio at 7am for a bit of brekky. After which we got to work, off we ventured out into the streets and paddocks for a junk hunt after an hour we had collected enough junk so headed back to the studio grabbed a little lunch.

Then we got the welder out, the door bell rang and it was Rufus, come in rufus I said, want to help us do some art, sure he said Annie was busy wiring our found objects together.

Rufus asked if he could film us working no problems, as Annie looked very sexy in her blue and white stripped bib and brace overalls with her hair in a bun. I put the music on a piece titled Aladins Cave very good music to work to, Annie started dancing around I joined her and rufus continued to film we danced into the studio where it was dark we both fell over onto the life drawing couch it saved us hurting ourselves we lay laughing then Annie farted one after the other and we laughed even harder I nearly shit my pants, and rufus was hysterical, we eventually stopped then cooked some dinner pancakes and syrup.

Then back to work to finish our artwork we were very excited about finishing the piece and worked early into the morning and finished about 6am we had finally completed the Paradigm another magical day creating art. check it out.

The Paradigm Sculpture

Me, Me Monday

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on June 6th, 2005 @ 21:31:25 , using 396 words, 1278 views
Posted in My Diary


Welcome again viewers to the beginning of another week in the life of this self obsessed, egotistical and down right sex symbol Junk Artist, Sculptor and Painter EXTRA ordinaire:)

For today, I've bid farewell to my talent and sobriety challenged twin brother Stevie who has slung his hook for pastures greener. Viewers, be warned - lock up your daughters, mothers, grandmothers and even your sons - twinee is on the prowl and he's definitely not fussy.

As promised earlier, today, I become your tour guide for just a few exciting moments and extend to you a glimpse of my Corrupted Crypt.

When arriving on the doorstep of my incredible Crypt you will be greeted by my garbage can lid doorknocker, bash it as if it were my hardened body, pummel as you please. Step inside the confines of my lounge room where you can set the time according to your wants and desires. Strap yourself into my very own Time Machine and adjust the clock to the year and date of your choice, I insist that for safety reasons the goggles are worn, too much wind velocity can be bad for your health:) Enjoy the exhilaration of the ride, open the throttle and let your imagination off the chain for just awhile.

Time machine sculpture

Follow the scorch marked 'hall of fame' name trail passed some of my sensational sculptures, admire my awesome paintings and relax in my armchair while viewing my television complete with boot carefully carved into the screen. If this enticing setting hasn't reeled you in then step into Room 13 where you can enjoy the rush of 20,000 volts of electricity as it surges through your body while sitting in my rusty claw enamel bath.

As you step gingerly around the spoils of the crypt, be sure to watch for the rats who dance upon the ceiling and watch your every move.

Viewers, it's time to check your racing pulse, has this been too much of me in one diary room sitting? Take a break, cos I know that you like everyone else who has the privilege of meeting me wants more, more and then some. The best is yet to come, join me next time for an invitation into my boudoir, where I know I can make all your dreams come true...

Sometimes, I scare even myself....

Sensational Sunday - Annie's Dream Comes True

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on June 5th, 2005 @ 23:01:03 , using 567 words, 1056 views
Posted in My Diary

Welcome back viewers, join me as I share with you another snippet in the life of the World's Greatest Junk Artist.

How often do we really get to make someone's dreams come true? Grant a wish? Zero if you are just an ordinary average person, however, not true in the life of this living, loving legend. Just recently I asked my squeeze Annie what was her dream, what one thing that she wished for, Annie replied 'to have two of you'. Well viewers, this came as no real surprise to me, however, seeing the opportunity to grant this understandable wish, I took Annie on a surprise adventure.

Yes viewers, even God knew that when He made me, one would never be enough, He blessed this world with two of me, viewers, I have a twin, a brother, his namie is Stevie O. Annie could not believe her eyes, her dream had come true, her wish granted, there was Stevie, complete with a fully rounded six pack well hidden underneath a barrel guts, 30 years of acne scars and craters, completed by a smile with a gap so wide that you could eat an apple through a tennis racquet with it. For Annie herself to be any happier, she too would have to have been twins.

Now viewers the phrase 'twice as nice' often comes to mind when thinking of twins, unfortunately, my twinee Stevie O has very little of the humility, charm, sex appeal and natural talent that I have. Stevie O is a little too fond of the demon drink,it turns him into a tooting, shooting, rooting and electrocuting kind of guy. Naturally Stevie O tries to pass himself off as me, after all who wouldn't? More about his adventures on another day.

To help Annie tell us apart a shopping trip was in order, so into the city went we three. Not wanting to change a thing about either of our looks - completely understandable, it was agreed that the only way to set us apart was for one of us to wear a hat. Now, being the shy, modest kind of superstar that I am, I volunteered for the role. What to wear? A dilema indeed, certainly nothing that would hide my rugged good looks, my impish grin and flaking face - a beret was just what the love God ordered:) Into the Mad Hatters and onto my head went the most stylish and suave beret that ever set itself upon a swollen head. Into the mirror I glanced it was love at first sight, there stood I in my newly purchased Matrix full length black leather coat, I had to steady myself and Annie as I caught my breath. Sold!! How could a beret befitting such an Adonis be so cheap I wondered? A three figure sum later it was back into the mall to fight my way through the maddening crowd as they shouted 'sign this', 'kiss me' 'is it really you?' and my all time favourite 'you are even better looking in real life'. Enough, is enough and on this occasion it was great to have Twinee with me to take some of the heat. Giving the growing crowd the slip we made our way back to the Crypt.

Time for a photo shoot to confirm my suspicions, yep, I really am that good.......

Take a look for yourselves.

Won Ton Wafer Thin Thursday

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on June 2nd, 2005 @ 20:33:29 , using 416 words, 1197 views
Posted in My Diary

Once again viewers welcome to my world, and what a view it is from this end:) My appointment at the weekly weighbridge confirmed that I have lost all my excess baggage and am once again a lean, mean love machine. Don't fret viewers as I know just where my love handles have gone, my squeeze Annie has found them and being the ever helpful lovesick groupie that she is has slapped them on her thunderous thighs for safe keeping. I've had to give Annie her first warning, one more and it's bye, bye thick thighs and onto the next page in my black book.

My success at the scales is due in no small part to mostly myself and my self discipline and strong will, when it comes to will power, just like my zits, I've got plenty! It's won't power that seems a little harder to get my deep crater scarred head around.

Scored a bonus workout today as I had to once again scale my roof to gain entry into my Crypt. Carrying the load (that's me before detox diarrohea diet) and awesome responsibility of being the World's Number One Junk Artist it's easy to understand how simple things can escape my brilliant mind. Simple things like keys and animals. Apparently viewers I have a dog - a junk yard variety named Killer Ky who has been with me on and sometimes off for nearly three years. You would think that after this time the lazy beast would have it's own house key and ATM card and surely know its way to the butcher! Do you see the word 'Butcher' engraved on my forehead? What am I a Supermarket? No sooner do I feed the beast then a week later it has the audacity to come whimpering at the door expecting me to feed it again!

Got a challenge for any of those viewers who are inventor types, how about keyless entry Crypts? It's not always convenient for me to have to balance my lithesome and luscious body atop of my wheelie bin, clamor onto the Crypt tiles and slide those suckers back and squeeze my torso into the cavity of my Crpyt. If I wanted to be a burglar then I would have kept my balaclava and gloves instead of donating them to the Rocky Horror Show!

Stay tuned viewers, next time I return I will take you on a virtual tour of my corrupted Crypt.......

Trippy Tuesday

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on May 31st, 2005 @ 15:09:44 , using 413 words, 1148 views
Posted in My Diary

The trick for me today was to get out of bed, being the number 1 Junk Artist in not only the land of Oz but the World takes it toll sometimes, even on a body as rusted and ruined as mine. Just when you think that there could be no vital organ left that hasn't been either shutdown or replaced, another one kicks in and bites you. Even my strict daily dosage routine coupled with my vigorous exercise program couldn't get my body kick started until well after the sun had passed over the yard arm telling me it was 1500 hours.

I finally heaved myself out of my rusty cot and a quick glance in my bulging black book reminded me that tonight was my night to meet up with my fellow and former students of the NEIS program where naturally I am the most celebrated and noted success story. What to wear? My little black dress was still at the dry cleaners, so it was back into the wardrobe for me. A quick riffle through revealed a long, tailored, black number that rested just above my reconstructed knee, just the ticket. Freshly showered, shaved, tweezered and puttied up I was ready for the off, picking Annie up on the way, she's still lucky enough to be my current squeeze but like anyone knows that she's only as good as her last performance. I needed no introduction at the gathering, however Annie being a no-one had to wear a name tag which simply read 'Steve O's number 1 fan'. Naturally this caused a commotion as many, many females and quite a few of those who bat for the other team believe this to be their rightful calling card. Accolades for me were well underway when I decided to leave them gasping for more and made my way right behind Elvis and left the building.

Due to some skillful driving resulting in only one fatality, I was able to lose the enterouge that had followed me and get home just in time to tune into my old mate Raving Rove. I would have given in to his relentless requests to shoot a story about me long before now if I hadn't cared so much about his blossoming career, after all, if the audience got more than a glance of me, then how could they possibly tune back into Rove again and not be disappointed? As I've said before - 'up here for thinking, down here for spanking'.

Another Day Another Dose

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on May 28th, 2005 @ 23:13:53 , using 444 words, 782 views
Posted in My Diary

Woke early to my favourite tune 'Me, Myself and I', ready to begin yet another fabulous detox day. With the no pain no gain exercise routine done it was time to start the first round of my daily doses which goes a little something like this:

After Breakfast: (which doesn't take a whole lot of time now that I've given up food)- 1 neubuliser ampule, 1 seritide click, 2 campral, 1 naltrexone, 300mg vitamin c, 1 multivitamin, 1 mega B complex, 1 gingo biloba, 1 viagra and to keep the witches away 1 clove of garlic

I rattled my way onto my first gig of the day a radio interview on 101.5 FM - Saturday Arts Show, where naturally I was the celebrity guest. After leaving the studio speechless and I might add breathless, who should I bump into on my return to the carpark but Scott Hicks who naturally enough wanted my autograph, unfortunately his timing couldn't have been worse as my hands were full balancing my camera loaded with mega snaps of me.

Onto my next gig, reviewing my old mates the 'Tap Dogs' who had returned to Adelaide for a week, once again they thanked me for giving them the inspiration and creativity to combine music and tap and turn into a huge stage construction site. I chose to sit this performance out and turned a deaf ear onto their pleas for me to put on my old steel cat taps. Thought I would give them a chance to enjoy being centre stage and experience the exhilaration that I am so accustomed too.

The big hand on the clock told me it was now time for another dose:-
2 campral, 1 mega B complex and a berocca just cos I can, if I was any tougher I would rust.

Home to the crypt to review my earlier radio gig, feeling great to know that once again I nailed it:)

A quick check in of the soon to be renamed 'Steve O' Gallery in preparation for the 'Steve O' open day tomorrow and all was sweet.
Time to polish up my performance art gig scheduled to make its debut tomorrow, knowing what exceptional natural talent I have, makes this that much more exciting.

Another glance at the rocket clock told me it was time for another dose:-
2 campral, 1 neubliser ampule, 1 seritide click, 1 prednisone tablet and my last viagra for the day ensuring that my monkey will get a good spanking when I've finished viewing another video filled reel to reel with tantalizing images of me.

Still now news from that imposter who calls himself 'Steve O' - I dare YOU, come out wherever you are you Big Girl and bendover and kiss me like a man:)

Fatsting Freaky Friday

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on May 27th, 2005 @ 22:18:05 , using 164 words, 891 views
Posted in My Diary

Today is the first day of my new fasting detox diet, sure as hell hope that is works fast!! Another weigh in revelaed that I had lost 3 kgs, with 12 more to go!

For anyone who is also struggling with their chins, barrel guts and general upkeep take a look at my diet plan below, it's helping me and I know it can work its magic for you

Breakfast: Piss, dump and a look around
Lunch: Piss, dump and scratch of the scrots
Dinner: Piss, dump and spank of the monkey

Total intake 0
Life expectancy - limited
Side effects - lack of breathing followed closely by slow, painful, death

Weak and wobbly from my new diet plan I rolled my way into the Gallery where I am preparing for an Open Day this Sunday. Hung several paintings, mostly of me, arranged my sculptures in my sculpture garden and completed the application form to rename the ArtsNorth studio to 'Steve O's Gallery', after all it's all about ME:)

Thinner Thursday - The spanked monkey comes:)

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on May 27th, 2005 @ 22:04:07 , using 190 words, 963 views
Posted in My Diary

Woke up much lighter after another restless night and a mega dump, still filled with anticipation about yet another article all about ME! The Bunyip delivered a very pleasant surprise on page 48 (why aren't I on the front page - in colour?), giving me and ArtsNorth some excellent publicity.

Describing me as colourful and eclectic, I have a couple of words of my own - fat, ugly and still full of gaps interspersed with zits and craters left over from my 30 year relationship with acne. After all, when your'e on a good thing stick to zit!

Touched base with my son Beau, where I was mistaken for his brother (younger naturally). Worked that room and those teachers drawing their attention to me, after all when I was at school, they never had teachers that looked that good. A few phone numbers later and Annie will be none the wiser.

Home with just enough time to spend five minutes spanking the monkey turned on from viewing a video of myself, while racked out in front of the tube.

So ends another perfect day set to the tune of "I'm always on my mind'.

Wild Wednesday Day of the Triple Chinned Blow Fly

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on May 27th, 2005 @ 21:46:55 , using 177 words, 652 views
Posted in My Diary

Hardly slept all night thinking about my pending article due to appear in the local News Review. At last it was time to get up and claim my copy. Page 10 revealed all, there I was triple chins, goggles, gappy grin and leather apron wrapped tightly around my barrel guts. I looked as sexy as hell, somebody stop me!!

But where was Artman? They seek him here, they seek him there, they seek him everywhere, nestled obscurely in the background of my wall art where he belonged. This story is all about ME!! Let's face it, there's plenty of ME to go around.

One hour, 14 kilometers, 150 crunches, 1 hour bag workout, found me laying gasping for breath on my floor, sweating profusely from every orifice, dialing 000.

No answer was the immediate reply, get up you fat cunt I said to myself, you might be fat but your no fucking quitter, as my drinking history shows:)

Take a look for yourself, if anyone has either Jenny Craig or Gloria Marshall's number or unused food or discount coupons please call me!!

Written by:chargin
Published on May 27th, 2005 @ 14:31:33 , using 17 words, 1027 views
Posted in My Diary

Be sure to visit my recently updated website dedicated to my junk art.
Click here --> Junk Art

Challenge - Answer the question & Lucifer

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on May 24th, 2005 @ 23:49:17 , using 450 words, 715 views
Posted in My Diary


Awake this morning at 6.30 am having watched the DVD titled Steve O out on bail (the crazy fucker from Jackass movies) the night before along with Big Brother uncut, I was thinking about a challenge to Steve O as that is my name and the winner gets to keep his name so there can be only one Steve O, it could be say 10 dares chosen by the public with number nine dare my choice and number 10 dare his choice and televise it on national TV or make it into a movie, I think I would beat him, then I hear from Annie Rufus my friend tonight who tells me Steve O died from spider bites in the mouth ? not sure now, I will find out if he is still kicking.

There was a question on Big Brother Uncut last night that stuck in my mind and it was this, if you had a choice of a guy cuming in your mouth or in your ass which would you choose ? I say nether just kill him ? but you have to have an answer. My answer would be, put your dick in my mouth and as the head enters I would bite down so hard until it was severed then spit it out and paint a picture with his blood ....

Today I took a stockpile of alcohol from my cupboards it included a cask of wine, half a bottle of scotch and 2 cans of beer it had been there since I stopped drinking 31 days ago and decided it had to go I took it to the studio for other non alcoholics to drink it will last them a copula weeks, where if I was to start drinking it it would last a day or so .. I don't have to bother now when I go to my kitchen and no it is not there waiting to test me ... my twin called Lucifer would just love me to take a sip then another then the whole fucken lot and then some Lucifer is a son of a bitch, I wish he would leave me alone ....

Well my day wasn't all challenges, questions and twin's hanging around, I got lots done, spent the day with my son setting up a sculpture garden at the gallery, took a few hundred kilos of scrap to the scrap yard, went to a council meeting, Annie came over for pizza, and we watched a bit more of Steve O on PCB, Jason called in, Artman and Geoff rang, just finishing my Blog for today then off to bed.

My quote for today "I hold a Beast, an Angel and a Madman inside me" by Dylan Thomas and alcoholic poet.

Poem to describe me

Written by:Steve Oatway Junk Artist
Published on May 23rd, 2005 @ 04:56:40 , using 142 words, 1047 views
Posted in My Diary

My first entry to my new Junk Art Blog page, my web host shannell said to me this morning at 9.30 am when he rang what do you think about having one online i said sure lets doit and here it is, ok here is a poem to describe me written by myself:

Breach Born 5am 1961
Was this a sign of things to come
I think not
It's just Gods way of showing Iam going to be different
I slept all day
and stayed awake all night
Much to my mother's delight
By the time i was 15 I learned to fight
and fight I have
Through Alcoholism, Asthma, A Broken Marriage and a Disabled Son
Who is my shining light
For without him I have no Heart
He came into the world to show me LOVE
and to not self destruct

Steve Oatway

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